The first step in bringing up children totally free of tantrums during their entire childhoods is to stop believing the decades-old advice of the parenting experts-that temper tantrums are natural, normal, inevitable, and mostly unpreventable when raising children. This advice is faulty. Virtually all children could be brought up without tantrums if the caregivers only knew how to do it. I can help you know how. My first five babies all had tantrums but the last eight didn't. With number five, thirty-three years ago, I learned what I needed to change in my parenting style, and within one week or so he was free of tantrums, forever. None of my last eight babies ever threw temper tantrums because I'd shown them from their births on they could trust me to respond as they needed to their anger.
Where did this tantrum-universality misconception come from-besides being handed down through the generations? I'm not sure, on average, how many kids each parenting expert has had, but from my limited pre-Internet, pre-Wikipedia research about twenty years ago, it seemed like it was maybe one or two and hasn't likely increased since then. Most book-writing parenting experts don't seem to disclose how many kids they've had. We often have to guess by the number of people they dedicate their books to. It's true.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
Where did this tantrum-universality misconception come from-besides being handed down through the generations? I'm not sure, on average, how many kids each parenting expert has had, but from my limited pre-Internet, pre-Wikipedia research about twenty years ago, it seemed like it was maybe one or two and hasn't likely increased since then. Most book-writing parenting experts don't seem to disclose how many kids they've had. We often have to guess by the number of people they dedicate their books to. It's true.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
About the Author:
Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.. Also published at How Parenting Experts Decided Tantrums Are Universal.
This article collected, selected and written by: Author Van Hoc
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