Death is a stark reality. When one loses a loved one, friend or colleague, it is hard to believe that they are really gone until the last respects have been paid. The Jewish rites are a bit different from others but the procedure of a rabbi funeral must be followed. The first thing is to dress appropriately. Ladies are encouraged to wear dresses while men should wear a coat and white shirt. This is a sign of respect for the deceased and consideration for the bereaved family.
The grave side session will usually only have a few chairs. Do not be mistaken, it is not a first come first seat kind of arrangement. Those are for family and the disabled with some exception for pregnant ladies and old people. It is advised for one to wear comfortable shoes. Small talk should be kept at a minimum with very hushed tones.
How distasteful is it to be late to a burial? It is disrespectful to both the family and the deceased. Why even show up at all if it will only breach the attention of other mourners. It is good manners to find out the exact times and venue the previous day. This will ensure one arrives early and on time for the ceremony without being rudely tardy.
This is not a place to socialize. It is not a place to catch up with that mutual friend. Even more, it is not a place to make new friends. The only time one should speak is when asked to. Even then, they should keep it as minimal as possible. Giving condolence is fine but try not to. It is best to write the message on the condolence book. Better yet, attend the Shiva.
The director at the funeral home will constantly give directions regarding sitting arrangement and other such matters. One should listen to these and adhere without hesitation. This moves the day forward smoothly without constant reminders of the same thing. Do not sit on the chairs at the grave side session. Unless one is disabled or family, these chairs are off limits.
Usually the Jewish people plan their burials about three days after the death. This is for a practical reason as they do not believe in embalming. This leaves very little notice for people who are otherwise engaged but would love to pay their respects. In that case, the family will have a seven stay at home after the ceremony during which people can come over and give their condolences. One should find out if there is any kind of support needed for the Shiva. Even the smallest thing like serving guests is appreciated.
In addition to or instead of attending the Shiva, most families choose a charity that people can donate to in honor of the deceased. This may be seen as a replacement for flowers. Flowers are seen as romanticizing the ugly truth. Charities will usually be more than willing to send a card to the family notifying them of the gesture.
Decorum must be observed at the ceremony whether one is a member of the faith or not. Any unusual rituals or traditions seen are of no consequence to anyone but the family and the deceased and should not be discussed.
The grave side session will usually only have a few chairs. Do not be mistaken, it is not a first come first seat kind of arrangement. Those are for family and the disabled with some exception for pregnant ladies and old people. It is advised for one to wear comfortable shoes. Small talk should be kept at a minimum with very hushed tones.
How distasteful is it to be late to a burial? It is disrespectful to both the family and the deceased. Why even show up at all if it will only breach the attention of other mourners. It is good manners to find out the exact times and venue the previous day. This will ensure one arrives early and on time for the ceremony without being rudely tardy.
This is not a place to socialize. It is not a place to catch up with that mutual friend. Even more, it is not a place to make new friends. The only time one should speak is when asked to. Even then, they should keep it as minimal as possible. Giving condolence is fine but try not to. It is best to write the message on the condolence book. Better yet, attend the Shiva.
The director at the funeral home will constantly give directions regarding sitting arrangement and other such matters. One should listen to these and adhere without hesitation. This moves the day forward smoothly without constant reminders of the same thing. Do not sit on the chairs at the grave side session. Unless one is disabled or family, these chairs are off limits.
Usually the Jewish people plan their burials about three days after the death. This is for a practical reason as they do not believe in embalming. This leaves very little notice for people who are otherwise engaged but would love to pay their respects. In that case, the family will have a seven stay at home after the ceremony during which people can come over and give their condolences. One should find out if there is any kind of support needed for the Shiva. Even the smallest thing like serving guests is appreciated.
In addition to or instead of attending the Shiva, most families choose a charity that people can donate to in honor of the deceased. This may be seen as a replacement for flowers. Flowers are seen as romanticizing the ugly truth. Charities will usually be more than willing to send a card to the family notifying them of the gesture.
Decorum must be observed at the ceremony whether one is a member of the faith or not. Any unusual rituals or traditions seen are of no consequence to anyone but the family and the deceased and should not be discussed.
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This article collected, selected and written by: Author Van Hoc
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