Mike Gurr, Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy, spoke to Lon Woodbury, the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on L.A. Talk Radio, about the topic of combating shame. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant, a prolific Amazon Kindle author, and the publisher of the industry-recognized Woodbury Reports. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr serves at Sedona Sky Acadamy as the Clinical Director. This is a therapeutic boarding school for girls in Rim Rock. He has earned two masters degrees. One is an M.Sc. in Exercise and Sport Science from the University of Utah. The other is a masters degree in Professional Counseling. He worked as a coach for high schools and colleges before getting a degree in counseling.
The Link Between Combating Shame and Restoring Mental Health
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
The best way to combat shame, said Mike, was to instill a sense of shame-resilience. This was the process of deflecting shaming triggers, becoming alert and aware about shame-inducing messages. This included spotting people and identifying environments that brought out a sense of shame. Shame could also be healed by learning how to be vulnerable, and by learning to how up, be seen, and be authentic. Someone who stopped caring what other people thought could experience joy, love, and creativity.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr serves at Sedona Sky Acadamy as the Clinical Director. This is a therapeutic boarding school for girls in Rim Rock. He has earned two masters degrees. One is an M.Sc. in Exercise and Sport Science from the University of Utah. The other is a masters degree in Professional Counseling. He worked as a coach for high schools and colleges before getting a degree in counseling.
The Link Between Combating Shame and Restoring Mental Health
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
The best way to combat shame, said Mike, was to instill a sense of shame-resilience. This was the process of deflecting shaming triggers, becoming alert and aware about shame-inducing messages. This included spotting people and identifying environments that brought out a sense of shame. Shame could also be healed by learning how to be vulnerable, and by learning to how up, be seen, and be authentic. Someone who stopped caring what other people thought could experience joy, love, and creativity.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
This article collected, selected and written by: Author Van Hoc
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