Many men feel anxious about approaching women, especially if they get regularly rejected. This shouldn't be taken as a sign that they are undesirable as people and it shouldn't knock down their self-esteem. Actually it's usually just a communication problem and a bad understanding of relationship psychology.
The way a guy look physically really has very little to do with how successful he is with a woman. It's a lot more than that. So hiding behind sports magazines or playing "blind man" in front of the boob-tube watching football or whatever is not going to win you any dates, or experience with women. If you don't get out, you will never find a girlfriend. Period!
The most common mistake that men make is that they go into seduction way too soon. Women find that kind of behavior creepy. Also it makes them understand you don't know what you are doing. Women have a built-in, subconscious and instinctive mechanism for choosing the strongest males of the clan. If you act like and alpha male, looks will be very secondary to attraction.
Right then. So this is where you put on your big boy pants and try attracting the kind of women you always wanted to talk to, but were always afraid to. Relax your face, but don't look catatonic either. Keep a slight smile on your lips, very slight so you look friendly and approachable, and not like a shark on the hunt with all your teeth hanging out. Keep your lips closed. Straighten your spine but don't look like a stiff old butler and turn your body ever so slightly in the direction of the woman you are interested in from across the room. Don't turn your body dead on toward her, that's too forward and too obvious. SHE must notice YOU. Keep your head up and eyes at the same level as the people around you so you look approachable and easygoing. This is key.
Make eye contact with different people and chat with some of them. This will help to relax you and calm your nerves for when you do talk to her. Don't hang around the bar. You don't want to look like one of those desperate guys who can't handle mingling with people, kind of like the loser at the club who can't dance so he tries looking cool standing at the bar holding drink after drink. Get it? Move around the room "aimlessly" chatting to people as you do. Every now and then look in her direction, and she will likely make eye contact, and if she does smile and head towards her in a relax way. Don't rush over. You will look like an over-eager fool.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
If she leans in to repeat what she has said you are in luck because the more she leans in the more she will feel attracted to you. This is because her body is behaving as if she was attracted and her mind will follow. On the contrary, if you are leaning in you will be displaying insecurity and submission, two things to avoid.
Once in a while, not too often or it will seem a bit weird, touch her shoulder or arm while you are talking. Don't touch her hand, it's too personal and too soon for that. Try not to be obvious and make it a natural thing, like when you are making a point of something, the touch her shoulder lightly. It makes her aware of you and her close proximity to you while you are talking. If this is not taken up the wrong way (which it won't if she is interested), it will heighten her senses a little bit every time you touch her. This is a good thing as it begins to reach her on an emotional level. Women are emotional beings after all.
When you are well into your talking, start to look at her lips occasionally when she is speaking and also think of something which gets you sexually aroused. You don't have to speak about sex; all you have to do is think about it. Your body language will change imperceptibly and her subconscious mind will pick up on it. If she starts looking at your lips too, touching her hair, leaning in and touching you, you can allow your touches to become caresses and then say "Yes, you can kiss me, I want to kiss you too".
Things will probably take off hot and heavy from this point on so keep a cool head and all should be just as you planned it.
The way a guy look physically really has very little to do with how successful he is with a woman. It's a lot more than that. So hiding behind sports magazines or playing "blind man" in front of the boob-tube watching football or whatever is not going to win you any dates, or experience with women. If you don't get out, you will never find a girlfriend. Period!
The most common mistake that men make is that they go into seduction way too soon. Women find that kind of behavior creepy. Also it makes them understand you don't know what you are doing. Women have a built-in, subconscious and instinctive mechanism for choosing the strongest males of the clan. If you act like and alpha male, looks will be very secondary to attraction.
Right then. So this is where you put on your big boy pants and try attracting the kind of women you always wanted to talk to, but were always afraid to. Relax your face, but don't look catatonic either. Keep a slight smile on your lips, very slight so you look friendly and approachable, and not like a shark on the hunt with all your teeth hanging out. Keep your lips closed. Straighten your spine but don't look like a stiff old butler and turn your body ever so slightly in the direction of the woman you are interested in from across the room. Don't turn your body dead on toward her, that's too forward and too obvious. SHE must notice YOU. Keep your head up and eyes at the same level as the people around you so you look approachable and easygoing. This is key.
Make eye contact with different people and chat with some of them. This will help to relax you and calm your nerves for when you do talk to her. Don't hang around the bar. You don't want to look like one of those desperate guys who can't handle mingling with people, kind of like the loser at the club who can't dance so he tries looking cool standing at the bar holding drink after drink. Get it? Move around the room "aimlessly" chatting to people as you do. Every now and then look in her direction, and she will likely make eye contact, and if she does smile and head towards her in a relax way. Don't rush over. You will look like an over-eager fool.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
If she leans in to repeat what she has said you are in luck because the more she leans in the more she will feel attracted to you. This is because her body is behaving as if she was attracted and her mind will follow. On the contrary, if you are leaning in you will be displaying insecurity and submission, two things to avoid.
Once in a while, not too often or it will seem a bit weird, touch her shoulder or arm while you are talking. Don't touch her hand, it's too personal and too soon for that. Try not to be obvious and make it a natural thing, like when you are making a point of something, the touch her shoulder lightly. It makes her aware of you and her close proximity to you while you are talking. If this is not taken up the wrong way (which it won't if she is interested), it will heighten her senses a little bit every time you touch her. This is a good thing as it begins to reach her on an emotional level. Women are emotional beings after all.
When you are well into your talking, start to look at her lips occasionally when she is speaking and also think of something which gets you sexually aroused. You don't have to speak about sex; all you have to do is think about it. Your body language will change imperceptibly and her subconscious mind will pick up on it. If she starts looking at your lips too, touching her hair, leaning in and touching you, you can allow your touches to become caresses and then say "Yes, you can kiss me, I want to kiss you too".
Things will probably take off hot and heavy from this point on so keep a cool head and all should be just as you planned it.
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