We are often shown how to communicate with people in an office or how to get children to behave properly. What is not always taught is how to be in a relationship. It is not an easy thing to discuss with family and friends. It is worth learning how to develop effective communication skills for couples.
The first thing is how people communicate. A lot of the time this develops from the family. Some families are very lively and discussion is actively encouraged. Other families are a bit more introspective and discussion is either considered not necessary or rude. Neither of these approaches are necessarily right or wrong and most people are usually somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
A lot of the time this can be traced back to family interaction. Some families are very lively and debate is encouraged. Other families may be a bit quieter and may not be as verbal when it comes to communicating with each other. Neither of these approaches is necessarily right or wrong.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This does not mean you have to put up with abuse. In extreme circumstances it is best to leave. Nobody should use violence or emotional blackmail to keep you in a relationship and it is important to be aware of this and distance yourself from anyone who becomes abusive.
Sometimes discussions will become overly heated. Emotions can run high and this is totally natural. Do not use this opportunity to lash out and say hurtful things. If you can feel tension then it is best to walk away and go somewhere else for a while before returning to discuss issues a bit more rationally. It should be said this is not to excuse abusive behavior. That is an extreme situation and you should not feel bad about walking away from an abusive situation.
It is also fair to say that this is not something that can happen instantly. Developing a way of communicating with each other in a healthy way takes time and a patient approach. It is not always easy but over time it can begin to become easier to overcome obstacles and address issues in a calm and rational way. You will never fully get rid of stress and no expert should promise the ability to always agree. However arguments will be resolved a bit quicker and in a healthier way and ultimately lead to a more positive long term relationship.
In short developing effective communication skills for couples is something that can take time. It may or may not require professional help. Whatever happens you need to always be willing to work at it and in the long term you will benefit from the rewards of learning how to effectively communicate with each other. Look online for more information and to help find support in your local area.
The first thing is how people communicate. A lot of the time this develops from the family. Some families are very lively and discussion is actively encouraged. Other families are a bit more introspective and discussion is either considered not necessary or rude. Neither of these approaches are necessarily right or wrong and most people are usually somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
A lot of the time this can be traced back to family interaction. Some families are very lively and debate is encouraged. Other families may be a bit quieter and may not be as verbal when it comes to communicating with each other. Neither of these approaches is necessarily right or wrong.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This does not mean you have to put up with abuse. In extreme circumstances it is best to leave. Nobody should use violence or emotional blackmail to keep you in a relationship and it is important to be aware of this and distance yourself from anyone who becomes abusive.
Sometimes discussions will become overly heated. Emotions can run high and this is totally natural. Do not use this opportunity to lash out and say hurtful things. If you can feel tension then it is best to walk away and go somewhere else for a while before returning to discuss issues a bit more rationally. It should be said this is not to excuse abusive behavior. That is an extreme situation and you should not feel bad about walking away from an abusive situation.
It is also fair to say that this is not something that can happen instantly. Developing a way of communicating with each other in a healthy way takes time and a patient approach. It is not always easy but over time it can begin to become easier to overcome obstacles and address issues in a calm and rational way. You will never fully get rid of stress and no expert should promise the ability to always agree. However arguments will be resolved a bit quicker and in a healthier way and ultimately lead to a more positive long term relationship.
In short developing effective communication skills for couples is something that can take time. It may or may not require professional help. Whatever happens you need to always be willing to work at it and in the long term you will benefit from the rewards of learning how to effectively communicate with each other. Look online for more information and to help find support in your local area.
About the Author:
If you would like to learn about effective communication skills for couples, check out this link to www.howelldynamics.net. To purchase Howell Dynamic's New Book on Couples Anger Management, visit us online at http://www.howelldynamics.net now.
This article collected, selected and written by: Author Van Hoc
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